It began as a joke, a modest attempt at political satire spawned during an inane session of late night creativity. Then the New York Times called. It would not have happened without the Internet.
In November of 2002, William Safire wrote a column for the New York Times headlined “You Are a Suspect”. Safire spoke of a massive surveillance infrastructure being built under the leadership of John Poindextor, the disgraced former aide to Ronald Reagan who was convicted of lying to Congress regarding his involvement in the Iran Contra scandal. The project was called Total Information Awareness and was run by the Information Awareness Office (IAO) of the Defense Department's Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), the same organization that developed the Internet several decades earlier. The plan was to analyze an immense universe of corporate databases (e.g. credit cards), government records, and whatever other information could be hoovered and analyzed to find the bad guys. While finding bad guys isn't a bad idea, many people, including Safire, expressed grave concerns that such efforts would invade our privacy and erode our civil liberties.
In early January of 2003, it was discovered that the Information Awareness Office had launched a website with its own seal complete with the Latin motto "scientia est potentia" or knowledge is power. The existence of the website and its bizarre logo kicked off a new cycle of media coverage. This one was notably louder, teased by the creepy design and its disturbing symbology. It generated a torrent of criticism. A few days later the site and logo disappeared from view.
Around that same time I was playing what would be my last game of touch football with a half-dozen friends on the angled streets of the Oakland hills. A loud popping sound, not unlike a distant handgun, was heard by everyone. It was not a handgun, but the stunning snap of my Achilles tendon leaving my right foot to dangle uselessly on its hinge.
A few days later I was home recovering from surgery, bored and sleepless, consuming as much of the Internet as my time would allow. I too saw the coverage of Poindexter’s surveillance project and immediately went looking for the logo. It didn’t take long as many had found it and it was now popping up on various websites. The project’s seal featured a look back on earth and moon from space but the moon was replaced by the “all-seeing eye” symbol of the pyramid housing an eye. The design didn’t need to be parodied, it was parody, whether knowingly or not.
After some joking with friends, I decided it might be fun to create a t-shirt for Poindexter and his team. I went to CafePress.com which allows customers to create nearly any kind of printed matter -- from books to hoodies. The founder of the site said they were “democratized e-commerce” which seemed quite accurate.
I grabbed the logo, configured it for the front of a t-shirt and added the slogan “Trust us. We know what you’re doing!” That was good for a giggle and boosted my enthusiasm to create more and more products. Why not an entire Total Information Awareness Gift Shop. Clothing. Mousepads. Clocks. Mugs. A baby’s bib with the slogan “My dad is a patriotic government spook“, another shirt reading “Be a good American. “DON”T ASK QUESTIONS.” Even a tennis shirt for the staff with the gift shop name and logo with Assistant Manager on the upper chest. I saw CafePress offered thongs and boxer shorts. I hesitated thinking that might be a step too far. Fortunately, my hesitation evaporated near instantly. Underwear was a must. With both, I added the tagline, “These premises under surveillance.” I just couldn't help myself.
The Total Information Awareness Gift Shop was born. That night, I sent a half dozen emails to a few friends, two of them journalists. Eliciting a few laughs was my only objective. I woke the next morning to find a few dozen pieces of merchandise had sold. Within three days more than a $1,000 of shirts, mugs, thongs, greeting cards, and other fine products were sold.
Then the New York Times called. The reporter left a message asking about my gift shop wanting to do an interview. I blanched. We were still in the dark, suspicious shadow of 9/11. I was making fun of a deadly serious, rather secretive, national security program. I was selling merchandise using a government agency’s seal. I seem to be outlining my own direct path to Guantanamo.
My first call was to a few lawyer friends. They assured me that I had not done anything illegal. The government can’t copyright its seals and symbols. As long as I wasn’t impersonating an agency employee I was in the clear. However, they did also note the sensitivity of the times. I shared my fear of being placed on the government's “No Fly” list. They did not dismiss that fear.
My leeriness about going public held firm. It had never been my intent. However, my youngest daughter was 15 years old, keenly political, and journalistically oriented. She thought this was about the coolest thing her dad had ever done. How could I tell her I didn't have the courage to make such a modest political statement? How could I tell her I was afraid to make a poignant satirical joke about government surveillance projects in these difficult fear-driven times? I couldn't. I didn't.
We decided being more public was the wisest thing to do. I thought it would also be wise to avoid being seen as a callous profiteer and would contribute all the proceeds to the American Civil Liberties Union. I sent an email to Anthony Romero, the ACLU’s executive director, advising him of the project and noting that I had obtained the website address of buyathongforfreedom dot com.
Then I returned the reporter’s call. The next morning, February 10th, I found the headline, “Electronic Surveillance Spies a Perfect Gift” on the front page of the business section. It was accompanied by a photograph of the order form for one of my thongs.
I was both thrilled and terrified. The terror was triggered by a concerning statement from Poindexter’s spokeswoman. She noted her bosses were aware of my effort, “but I don’t think it's something that warrants a comment from the government.” Hmm. They were aware of my efforts! For how long? Was I a suspect?
Irrespective of my fears, the gift shop was now selling $1-2,000 each day and generating 25% of that in contributions to the ACLU. Shirts and mugs were the hot sellers. But thongs were also very popular, accounting for nearly ten percent of units sold. I knew that because I had the sales numbers, but I also knew it because more people than I was comfortable with disclosed that they were wearing my product. My daughter began referring to me as "the lingerie merchant for civil liberties." If I was going to end up in Guantanamo, at least I had earned my daughter’s respect.
A few weeks later I was surprised to see a small Washington Post piece about a National Press Club event pitting conservative pundit Pat Buchanan against ACLU president Nadine Strossen. They were debating civil liberties. At the end of her opening remarks, Strossen held a TIA Gift Shop thong over her head and said “buy a thong for freedom dot com.” She noted that the thong was a Valentine’s Day gift from Anthony Romero. Pat Buchanan then offered to model the thong for her. All of this was reported and photographed by the Post. I was stunned and delighted.
Sales went through the roof. People were buying for themselves, as gifts, as giveaways for groups. People would come up to me proudly displaying their merch. Ultimately the shop rang up more than $250,000 in sales. I was indeed a lingerie merchant for civil liberties.
Dorothy Parker once said, “Brevity is the soul of lingerie.” That could be said for political expression as well. Is there a more succinct way of addressing the threat of government surveillance than “Trust us. We know what you’re doing.”
While I have no proof, I like to believe the true accomplishment of this accidental affair was to motivate both the venerable New York Times and the Washington Post to run editorial news photos of an article of intimate apparel -- specifically, a thong. Not a photo of an actress in the entertainment section or of a model in an ad in the fashion section. A news photo! I believe it was a first in either paper's long history. Please don't correct me if I'm wrong.
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